Craig Hill
KC Hill
Paladin
Oracle of DelphiCelebrity Baby Names - Why They Should Be Illegal
January 23rd 2007 04:56
photo by Pablo Gonzalez Vargas, www.morguefile.com
I realise that no Act of Parliament can help me out here, but when I recently heard that former X-Files star Annabeth Gish and husband Wade Allen decided to name their newborn "Cash", I realised that someone needed to start a petition or something to put a stop to these baby-naming disasters.
And if you think I'm referring to Gwyneth naming her kids "Apple" and "Moses", you're wrong. Those names are no crime against humanity. In fact, those names are quite cute in comparison to what other celebrity babies are stuck with.
I'm talking about the real-deal-Fifi-Trixibelle-type names that Bob Geldof and Paula Yates have been coming up with. I'm raging about poor Sly Stallone's kid whose middle name is "Moonblood". I'm talking about the Zappa kids being named "Dweezil", "Moonunit" and "Diva Muffin".
Yes, celebrities actually think that it's ok to do this to the child.
No, no it's really not.
And I understand that some parents want to avoid main stream names. That's fair enough, but there's a distinct line between a unique, exotic name for example, and a down-right terrible one. Moonunit? Really...
Singer John Melloncamp named one of his sons "Spec Wildhorse" whilst magician and entertainers Penn and Emily Jillette named their only daughter "Moxie CrimeFighter" - yes, with no spaces between the Crime and the Fighter and a capital F as well, just in case some idiot pronounces it wrong.
Do you see what I'm talking about? Do you see why celebrities should not be allowed to name their own children? Imagine what these kids will have to go through growing up in a world of Sarahs and Sams.
*shaking my head*, it's just not right.
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